Something else Marti said on that recording really struck me...
How does it help move student media forward when you're going to write everything I say from your point of view, and that's the way it's gonna be?
While the editors debated her on this point, I was truly ambivalent – in the classic definition of that word, meaning strong emotions both ways instead of no emotions either way.
In those few seconds of the back-and-forth, a dozen conflicting thoughts crossed my mind, several which troubled me...
• "It can't be easy to stand in front of a half-dozen hostile editors and talk about this stuff, with the tiny red light of a recorder always within your line of sight. Whatever differences you have with this woman, that takes guts."
• "But her The Post comment contradicts what she and Student Affairs have been saying for six weeks. She deserves tough questions."
• "Yeah, but this blog and the editor's have escalated things and made compromise impossible."
• "There wasn't going to be a compromise, anyway. At first, Student Affairs wouldn't even let you volunteer, or permit the students to meet with you off campus. Only by fighting loud and hard did FAU back down."
• "OK, if you're so right and righteous, then why do you feel so uncomfortable?"
TOMORROW: Why I feel so uncomfortable.